13. Brain farts & verbal diahorrea
So, I’ve chatted to you guys about the emotional effects of the bad halo and touched a little on the physical symptoms. But how about one of the more basic ones? How does it affect your speech?
I remember back to around 1999-2000 when my first speech and word-related issues cropped up. It started with what I now refer to as “brain farts”.
Brain farts (by my definition) are when I can’t think of basic words in the English language. They’re usually followed up with lots impaired speech, stuttering, um’s, ah’s, shits, fucks and embarrassed silences. Or in my case, rapid garbled prattle as I try in vain to come up with the missing word. Sometimes, my (ever helpful) mind starts adding random words instead. So rather than saying “I’m going to get in the car” I would actually say “I’m going to get in the football”. Or even better “I’m going to get in the… um.. ah.. what’s the word?… hang on I’ll get it….” and then getting talked over by the other person who’s too frustrated to wait until my brain catches up.
I think that’s the main reason I enjoy my blog. I get to speak to you in the words my mind is actually thinking. I can express myself the way I’ve craved for years. I can finally use grown up words such as “garbled” and “prattle” rather than childish expressions like “I don’t know how to talk anymore”.
How does your condition affect your speech? Does it make you feel like a stuttering fool (like it does me)? Does it frustrate you or just annoy those you are trying to chat to? I know I can’t be the only one here with constant verbal diahorrea!