B.A.D. halo life

A support page for peeps living with Bipolar Disorder, Brain fog, Anxiety & Depression by a Melbourne gal who has been battling these demons for 40 years. The more we talk about our "invisible" struggles, the more the stigmas will lift. They have to…………….. don't they? PLEASE SHARE MY BLOG, ADD YOUR COMMENTS & TELL US YOUR STORY..

12. The art of just being

After an emotionally trying weekend I’m now riding the down slope of the rollercoaster. It all started with
stress that I didn’t release. Now the anxiety has taken it’s chunk out of me.. makes me feel less whole & it’s hard to hold off the weighty depression. I’ve been trying to breathe through it, trying so hard not to take it out on my children.

Even with the right cocktail of meds and a healthy attitude, some days it’s so incredibly hard.

All I could think about tonight was “just getting through until bedtime”. But my eldest daughter, very wise at the ripe old age of eight and three-quarters, asked me if I’d like to colour-in with her.

I almost said no.

I’m glad I didn’t.

Instead of hiding in my cave alone tonight I channelled my frustrations onto something positive. I clutched the pencils hoping for some thread of myself to come back to me. The colouring book came alive with reds and greens and purples. The stress slipped a little. Not much, but enough to quell the fight or flight for a while.

IMG_6978

Enough for now.

Best of all, I got to spend some quality “healing” time with my 2 favourite gals. It was just as much for them as it was for me. We are all so busy these days.

I must admit I still don’t feel great but knowing that I didn’t shut my kids out means the world.

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2 comments on “12. The art of just being

  1. Sid
    July 21, 2015

    Brave girl, thanks for sharing. It frightens me sometimes how the first thing you push away instinctively is the thing/s you love most. Kids are amazingly intuitive.. Xo

    Like

    • badhalolife
      July 21, 2015

      Yes Sid, the old saying about hurting the ones we love most rings true. But our kids are so impressionable I try so hard to teach them that taking our frustrations out on someone else is wrong. I guess I need to have more faith in myself, and more faith in my relationship with them. They “get” me.. At least my 8yo does. She suffers from anxiety as well so she knows when I’m “normal angry” or “stressed angry”.. You’re right, kids are highly intuitive aren’t they!

      Like

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This entry was posted on July 21, 2015 by .

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