B.A.D. halo life

A support page for peeps living with Bipolar Disorder, Brain fog, Anxiety & Depression by a Melbourne gal who has been battling these demons for 40 years. The more we talk about our "invisible" struggles, the more the stigmas will lift. They have to…………….. don't they? PLEASE SHARE MY BLOG, ADD YOUR COMMENTS & TELL US YOUR STORY..

10. Uncomfortably Numb

My mind and I are wrestling today. I wanted to chat to you guys about a few different things, but this brain of mine will have none of it. It is full of pins and needles, of not-quite-fog. I can hold a short conversation with people, but only in spurts. Trying to contribute to the discussion takes a great deal of effort.

What is this? Brain fog? Fatigue? Parenthood?

I know it’s not depression or mania, just a symptom of my illness. A bullet mark on a chart. I have a long list of things I want to get done this week. All of them mediocre chores that need to be competed. I don’t feel joy or despair, just a numbness. I go through the routine of the day, constantly reassessing what I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t see the items on my list, but rather the enormous elephant that is the things I haven’t done. I don’t feel down or lonely. I don’t feel afraid or angry. Not flat. Just nothing.

I look out the window at the trees, the sky. I hear the birds chirping but nothing triggers any feeling. I’m an emotional creature by nature, so this world is surreal.

How do you feel when you’re in between the highs and lows? Do you experience a numbness? Are you at ease or does this state make you anxious? Do you ever find a cold comfort in the ups and downs simply because you can “label” how you’re feeling? How is it for you?

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This entry was posted on June 11, 2015 by .

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